"When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers
deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need
punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending."
"The first noble truth of the Buddha is that when we feel
suffering, it doesn't mean that something is wrong. What a relief. Finally
somebody told the truth. Suffering is part of life, and we don't have to feel
it's happening because we personally made the wrong move. In reality, however,
when we feel suffering, we think that something is wrong. As long as we're
addicted to hope, we feel that we can tone our experience down or liven it up or
change it somehow, and we continue to suffer a lot."
"We think that if we just meditated enough or jogged enough or ate
perfect food, everything would be perfect. But from the point of view of someone
who is awake, that's death. Seeking security or perfection, rejoicing in feeling
confirmed and whole, self contained and comfortable, is some kind of death. It
doesn't have any fresh air. There's no room for something to come in and
interrupt all that. We are killing the moment by controlling our
"We awaken this bodhichitta, this tenderness for life, when we can
no longer shield ourselves from the vulnerability of our condition, from the
basic fragility of existence. In the words of the sixteenth Gyalwa Karmapa, "You
take it all in. You let the pain of the world touch your heart and you turn it
into compassion." It is said that in difficult times, it is only bodhichitta
"Thinking that we can find some lasting pleasure and avoid pain is
what in Buddhism is called samsara, a hopeless cycle that goes round and round
endlessly and causes us to suffer greatly. The very first noble truth of the
Buddha points out that suffering is inevitable for human beings as long as we
believe that things last-that they don't disintegrate, that they can be counted
on to satisfy our hunger for security."
"The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental
harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and
the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently."
"An emotion like anger that's an automatic response lasts just
ninety seconds from the moment it's triggered until it runs its course. One and
a half minutes, that's all. When it lasts any longer, which it usually does,
it's because we've chosen to rekindle it."
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